Woke up extremely early with most of my work finished late last night so  I had the chance to do some creative writing here.  Had a very early start to a somewhat unusual morning routine.  Woke up to Fleetwood Mac playing.  No milk so no latte to start my day, instead went with some tea and enjoyed a walk along the lakefront and sat on the rocks, watching the sunrise, sipping my tea.

I am not known to be a typical “morning person” per se, I am however, an extreme night owl.  So much so that if I wake up early enough before the sunrise I am actually quite fond of the morning – as it’s just an “all-nighter” in my mind.

Anyways, I watched the sun rise and listened to a playlist I recently made, one of the songs I probably haven’t heard in more than ten years.  It brought back a flurry of flashbacks and overwhelming emotions… When I buried my father and sister half a lifetime ago,  I used to come to the lakefront daily, go for a run, or just watch the sunrise with smoke and coffee in hand.  Sometimes I used to run and smoke which freaked people out, a comical contradiction.  morning person, probably because mentally it’s just an extended late night for me…

Well the track played, and mentally brought me back to sixteen years ago.  I lit a smoke and unwittingly began an inventory of my life.  Thankfully, these sticks burn slow, cause there’s a lot of shit to reflect on.

I remember playing chess with my dad for years, something he taught me when I was knee high to a duck.  He was very competitive, and used to compete and travel in tournaments all the time.  We bought him a fancy electronic chess set one time.  It came in this leather briefcase, and the computer would take weeks to make a move.  I think he finally beat it just over a year later.  It took me about ten years to finally beat him, and I’m still not sure if that was just by chance or a gimme as that was the only win I ever got.  I think I picked up my use of analogies from him because he used to compare chess to everything; how every move changes the situation, strategy and possibilities.  You know you won’t have all these peices at the end of the game, and most will be lost throughout the duration of the game.  You do, however, have the power of choice – choosing what to move, if and when to sacrifice and when to take.  Even choosing to lose our most powerful pieces on the board to create… for the overall scheme of things.

I sacrificed a whole lot getting to this point and only have a few pieces left and need to make sure that it won’t be all for naught.  I still have dreams and don’t want to grow old in regret.

[Audio:] 01.mp3

 

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