A couple of weeks ago I had a weird dream about an ex from years ago… I guess it wasn’t too surprising then when I bumped into her on the streets a few days later.  She was in town doing a shoot.  Seeing her was quite the shock. She just celebrated a birthday and was almost 50! Did I really date girls that much older than me before? It was unsettling, as she was about my age when I first met her.

I met a friend for coffee a few days later and was telling them about the ordeal.  They were nice enough to point out that the majority of my people in my world are all older than me, including them. However, I do kind of feel out of sorts with them now… feel like I’ve been thrown back into my 20s to sort out my life. It is depressing however watching all of them move on with their lives with their families and watching their kids grow. I made it a point that I can’t really attend any of their kids birthday parties and such. Probably rude, but it’s just too depressing for me. Haven’t seen G in several weeks now, with no clue as to what’s been going on. I have the feeling that as the ex keeps moving on with her life, the situation will just continue to deteriorate. Not quite sure what I did to deserve so much indifference…

He should have been here to go Trick or Treating. Would have been nice. I saved him a goodie basket of snacks that I received from a competition, but I guess I’ll let the guys at the office have some or have at it myself at some point… His Domo costume was scattered to the four winds…

Oddly, the ordeal has been making me camp out at the office burying myself in work… I feel like I’ve spread myself out a bit, but I’ll keeping going until I burn myself up. I still believe that I can achieve my sanctuary.

Some of the snacks I received from a recent competition… Would have been nice to share with G







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